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The routing of a drunken parson

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How to knock out a competitor for a parsonage in the 1640s:

"I was once more invited to solicit against Antrobus ['parson of Egremond, a most evil liver, bold, and very rich'], which I did upon three or more articles.

  1. That Antrobus baptized a cock, and called him Peter.
  2. He had knowledge of such a woman and of her daughter, viz. of both their bodies, in as large a manner as ever of his own wife.
  3. Being drunk, a woman took a cord and tied it about his privy members unto a manger in a stable.
  4. Being a continual drunkard.
  5. He never preached, &c.

Antrobus was now become a great champion for the Parliament; but, at the day of hearing, I had procured abundance of my friends to be there; for the godly, as they termed themselves, sided with him; the present Master of the Rolls was Chairman that day, Sir Harbottle Grimston.

Who, hearing the foulness of the cause, was very much ashamed thereof. I remember Antrobus, being there, pleaded he was in his natural condition when he acted so ungraciously.

'What condition were you in,' said the Chairman, 'when you lay with mother and daughter?'

'There is no proof of that,' saith he.

'None but your own confession,' said the Chairman, 'nor could any tell so well.'

'I am not given to drunkenness,' quoth he. 'He was so drunk within this fortnight,' quoth I, 'he reeled from one side of the street to the other; here is the witness to prove it.' who, presently, before the committee, being sworn, made it good, and named the place and street where he was drunk. So he was adjudged scandalous, and outed of his benefice, and our minister had the parsonage."

(From William Lilly's History of His Life and Times From the Year 1602 to 1681 by William Lilly.)


Tags: quote, england
Authors: ag